This is an important commercial and doubles as the last time it was acceptable to like Stephon Marbury

Right hand men

Koach K and Kolangelo have created a Team USA seemingly unmatched in international competition. Italia came the closest, but ultimately found itself lacking when Carmelo took the opportunity to self-actualize his potential mastery of all things FIBA.

The Doctrine of Dominance K set up since day one has payed its dividends, Team USA looks like an irresistable force moving towards ultimate victory on the world stage. However, the roots of the Doctrine of Dominance draw water from concerning locations.
Their belief that America can continue to dominate the world is one based in an old mode of thinking. It hearkens back to the Two Superpower era of the Cold War, ignoring the fractured and diverse beast that the world stage has become. The United States government faces a similar battle of understanding; unilateralism may have worked in 1992, but it sure as hell won't in 2006.

A key misunderstanding is the assumption that the rest of the world will continue to be cowed by the mere presence of such NBA luminaries as King James, DWyade, and Lo. The world simply does not care. It looks upon such players not as gods, but as the men they are.

When Kolangelo-K realize their error in judgement and addopt a less jingoistic view of the world, America will truly rise to power.

Take down your banners

Team USA shitted all over Australia, Chris Sheridan ran a piece about how the international media was raving about their play, a FIBA World Cup championship seems to be in the cards, and nothing has been decided.

Sure, USA has been nice. But they're no Dream Team, and there are three or four squads still in the tourney that can knock them straight back to Indianapolis. Their run looks like it's gonna proceed as follows:



Round of 8 Germany
Dirk headlines a squad that might be tough to knock out, but they lack depth, and the USA should skate right over them.

Round of 4 Greece
The Greek team is the European champion, and a team that the international community is very interested in seeing America play. They seem more of a challenge than Germany- they're deeper and have more experience in the international game.

Championship Argentina or Spain
Both teams feature NBAers at the top of their lineups. Both are the consensus favorites to upset the US if such an upset is forthcoming. Both have their flaws; Pau looked rattled after playing a physical Serbian squad, and Manu's bitch-ass-travel-and-then-fall-over move doesn't translate well to the international game.

Salute the Flag

Team USA's undefeated drive through the Group stage of the tournament is kind of impressive, sure. Although many could and have predicted such a romp, it was not without its road bumps. Italy gave them a run, even in a rebuilding year. Brazil also tested them, led by Leandrinho Barbosa and lost by less than 10.

While it is a victory of sorts that I would look at such a loss and shake my head, wondering how the opposition came so close, none of these games should have been in doubt. As the commentators mentioned in the Italy game, Argentina and Germany both have larger margins of victory, a good test of overall team excellence.

The USA might be somewhat of a paper tiger; their squad is the most impressive and dominant in the tournament field judged solely on the names involved. However, Koach K's insistence on the pressure man-to-man defense could eventually be their undoing.

While Team USA does have impressive turnover and fast break points numbers, its FG% allowed and opponent's points per game are found lacking. Not to say that such statistics tell the tale of their dominance or downfall, but they do help point in the right direction. America might be better served switching into a zone defense similar to Jim Boeheim's at Syracuse. Maybe the intensity could be ramped up a little, but the 2-3 would force opposing teams into more outside shots. Thus, more long rebounds. Thus, more fast breaks. Thus, more opportunities for LeBron to embarrass people like this:

More tomorrow on the roots of K's and Colangelo's philosophy of dominance.

Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane

Sam Jackson is now the official actor of Lamar.

His work is superb, like in Pulp Fiction.

Also, Motherfucking Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane.

Anyways, on to Drew Gooden.
Drew has a name similar enough to Dwight Budden (featured on a Madden sountrack now beyond memory) that I got their names confused on a consistent basis.

Drew's game is so unremarkable that it becomes remarkable in and of itself. There is no more vanilla player in the whole of the NBA; he rebounds, scores, and intimidates with equal unremarkability. It seems fitting that he would be paired up opposite LeBron--a man destined to be a god among men.

Every hero must have his protection, every night his shining armor. That armor needn't be too flashy; the quality of the hero should be measured by his might, not by his shield.

Not to say that LeBron should press forward with inadequate or antiquated equipment--KG and KB24 have proven such a quest is fraught with nothing but peril and ridicule. Rather, he should wear a suit of armor that does nothing to add nor subtract from his overwhelming splendor.



Drew Gooden, combined with Larry Hughes and Zydrunas Ilgauskas, is a suit so vanilla, so ordinary, that it becomes extraordinary in its regularity. None of those men is capable of dominating a game on his own, allowing LBJ to rise up like the Basketball Mohammed that he is.

This says everything you need to know about USA basketball, especially in these next few weeks

Microfracture is the new Tommy John

Amare Stoudemire is the Phoenix Suns. Correction on that: he was and will be the Phoenix Suns.

Quiet simply, he is the second most important and influential big man ever to play in the NBA. Correction: he could be.

If Amare comes back like Jordan, it will be to punctuate a Suns attack that had increasingly become a run-on sentence. There were no periods save the occasional Marion throwdown, but even then his dunks were more of a semicolon. Shooting 3s is terrific and wonderful and great, but what once seperated the Suns from their Supersonic brethren was their ability to halt their attack so that the beast that occupied the middle could take some time out to demolish the rim.

Amare's return could mark the Suns' reclamation from the world of the circus freakshow. Steve Nash's performance in the Playoffs was gutty and spectacular and blah blah blah. His performance carried a bemused smirk as he dribbled around Lakers and Clippers and Mavericks en route to open 3s and layups, but he seemed always on the verge of collapse. Twice he carried his team to Game 7and twice they succeded. However, without Amare, Nash was forced to be a working man's hero, a role he does not embrace.
Amare's return means that Nash can return to the princely duties to which he is more accustomed. No more must he stain his manicured fingernails with grease and sweat as he operates the heavy machinery necessary to win basketball games.