once again back is the incredible

i had it in my mind that i would wait until youtube got updated with some videos before i would get officially hyphy about what went down about 1 hour ago. i, of course, am referring to the slam dunk competition during the 2007 all-star festivities.

nate-rob and j smoove offered a hint that the competition was returning to its former glory. jumping over spudd webb and tossing up a nique tribute whilst rocking the throwback took serious steps in the right direction. but there were also moments of embarrassment.

josh smith's bizarre tape-placement dunk (the one where he put down some tape on the FT line then jumped from like 3 feet past it, although some speculate he was just fixing the court) was high on the list of the reminders that the halycon days were long since faded.

(i also definitely should not be leaving out amare stoudemire's pretty-fly-for-a-big-guy display 2 years back when he teamed up with canada's number 1 citizen for some sick dunks.)

well so fast forward with me to this year. maybe it's just my expanded appreciation of the nba's rising youngsters but i was seriously geeked for this year's comp. the mere threat of ryan hollins' rumored leaping ability had me amped, but even with him as a non-invitee there was still a nice little lineup. of the quartet tyrus thomas was the only seriously disappointing one, and even he had a bizarre dunk that severed the net.

firstly, dwight howard confirmed my earlier assumption of unsafe bounce when he put a sticker of his smiling face TWELVE FEET AND SIX INCHES ABOVE THE GROUND. re-read that, recognize that it is not a typo, and then wait like a crack addict until some kind soul posts that shit up for you to see.

other highlights include gerald green dunking a pierce alley-oop that came off the backboard, then re-enacting dee brown's steez but this time jumping over real live nate robinson. nate had a decent dunk in the final, but my man gerald was just out of damn control.

now we come to the point of the dunk contest. gerald had it right when he said that it was hard to be creative now because everyone done took all the good shit. he also highlighted the importance of planning and props. nate was decent, but all he did was try to toss the ball to himself and jump out the damn building. gerald brought out a table and a cardboard cutout of nate robinson that was then replaced with the real thing.

people will still complain that there aren't stars in the contest, but i think that nate really showed why stars in the contest might in fact be disappointing. he had the title and took a pretty obviously lazy approach to this year's contest. the presence of up-and-comers like gerald, like dwight howard, and like tyrus thomas means that there will be real effort made to concoct truly creative dunks, versus relying on the power of their personality to win the contest. sure, lebron or wade might be able to throw down like these fellas but do you think they'd be even half as motivated as someone with a name to make for themselves?

didn't think so.

when people talk about improving the dunk contest, their number one idea is to reintroduce the star element. now we have the clear lamar blogom take on that shit: keep the stars in the game, give me the gerald greens, give me the andre iguodalas, and give me the ryan hollins gotdamnit.

(oh and charles barkeley beat dick bavetta and even ran backwards at the end. and they kissed on the lips.)

the lamar blogom all-stars

no, not like the ones i layed down in the offseason. these awards are based purely on who's the best (as i amorphously decide it) in both conferences. i'll lay down a sentence or two for each dude. basic rules:

1. they have to be in that conference for which they are selected.
2. 2 guards, 2 forwards, 1 center.

let the selections begin.

WEST.
pg: steve nash- sneaky 'nuck posting career numbers after 2 straight mvp awards. obvious.
sg: kobe bryant- possible g.o.a.t. in his prime elevating the worst supporting cast in the league to 50-win pace.
f: dirk nowitzki- big german who keeps on refining and improving every single season. pretty hard to guard.
f: kevin garnett- the most intense player in the league, rumored to be able to kill people using only his eyes.
c: amare stoudemire- maybe not playing as well as tim duncan, but the mofo plays for the best team in the conference, is ridic bangtime, and is only about 80% back. STAT.

EAST.
pg: gilbert arenas- non-stop daggerman from further than 38 feet out. goofy as hell.
sg: dwyane wade- (and it pains me to say this but) he's basically dragging the heat along on some man-sized shoulders. i put him just below kobe in the sg rankings. i will now shoot myself repeatedly.
sf: lebron james- actually tailing off a little this season. rampant speculation that he may be shaqing it until the playoffs. best shape that up or the cavs might never sniff glory.
pf: chris bosh- crafty lefty that looks like a velociraptor and plays w/somewhat less ferocity. still awesome.
c: dwight howard- this gives the east 4 players drafted since 2003, and 5 in this millenium. it is for that reason that the east will become the dominant conference sooner rather than later.