not so great expectations

well the season is underway and hs brought with it the weirdness that we can expect from the nba. the warriors, bulls, wizards, AND heat have combined for as many wins as the new orleans hornets. now, chris paul is pretty nice and shaq is five shades of washed up, but come ON. this time of year is typically odd though; the bulls literally always suck to open the season and every year there are articles talking about how they're quitting on skiles, or they're in some kind of mysterious decline. please relax america. the bulls will be fine. after the all-star break there will be a million and one articles about how the bulls have turned it around, how they're the hottest team in the league, scott skiles is a genius &c. not to say that i support skiles in any way, shape, or form; i think he's a nazi asshole that has no idea how to run an offense or even to hire someone that does know how to run an offense. that being said, the man can flat out coach defense like it's nobody's business. and that shit is valuable in this league.

(p.s. watch out for tom thibodeau, the lead celtics assistant to get a job next year. by all accounts he's the one behind both the suffocating D the rockets had this year AND the celtics dominance on the defensive end this year.)

speaking of the celtics, they're pretty much obscene. kg is playing like the mvp that we all know he should be yearly. honestly, he kind of scares the shit out of me. he's like a convict let out right into amsterdam or something with $1 million in his bank account. he probably sits at home giggling maniacly rubbing his hands together while the five hookers he's hired are doing blow from the mountain he has covering his dining room table. i realize that i've turned kg into scarface, but at this point he's about five wins in a row away from entering a state of nirvana so profound that he refuses to leave his bed. so my point is the celtics should start sucking soon or else he's going to be way too blissed out to even play basketball. or maybe he just drunk dials kevin mchale all the time and taunts him.

it's kind of gratifying to see a hyped up team of superstars come together so sublimely, especially in boston. there are serious questions in my mind as to whether the celtics or pats will be the first to lose. but seriously, it's good to be able to hate the celtics again is my main concern. combine that with a possible lakers resurgence and you have a pretty solid matchup down the road. more about the lakers tomorrow.

we got keys coming from minnesota (?!)

well it finally happened. the big ticket winds up in the home of the big dig, the hick from french lick, and the sports guy. he perhaps joins the situation of his destiny.
unlike in minny, he doesn't have to score every possession, isn't expected to have the offense run through him, and isn't the ONLY crunch time option. that's why this *could* (and those are some HUGE asterisks on that word) be the best situation for him to be in. i think he would have been better served going to the lakers, but you could then accuse me of homerism so...
the case for the lakers goes: kg is the best beta dog in the history of the lig. he's a phenomenal rebounder, low post defender, etc etc. kobe meanwhile is the definition of an alpha dog. like kg, kobe wants and needs and lives to stomp on the neck of his opponents. however, unlike kg he has the capacity to do so solely with his scoring prowess. if you doubt that shit for a second, watch some tape of his 65-point performance against the blazers trail. both kobe and garnett bring serious intensity to the table, but kobe is garnett's polar opposite on the basketball court. he doesn't even have to smell the key to score, while garnett despite his midrange prowess is most effective when tied to it.
ray ray and prince paul could provide a similar counterpoint to kg's effectiveness. COULD being the operative word, just as i indicated before. but unlike kobe they are no longer unstoppable scorers that strike fear into the opposing team's heart by merely slipping on a uniform. ray still has a sweet outside jumper that even double ankle surgery shouldn't be able to tarnish. pierce also has a semi-nice jumper AND has shown flashes of being able to get into the lane at will. all three would climb through pig innards covered in feces for a shot at a title, and they just might have to unless the celts can grab up a quality pg on the cheap. rajon rondo is meh just due to lack of shooting and passing and general experience but if they got their hands on even a brevin knight type they could be guaranteed a spot in the finals. whether or not they get bent over the scorers table is another matter entirely.

final prediction: 55-37